Buckle up, Buttercup.

   As a high school student I have the wonderful privilege to attend and take college classes. Now, I must admit, it isn't always a joy. I mean it is school, and it is challenging. Most weekends and weeks are spent writing essays and studying for what seems pointless, but I know in all reality, later on in life I will be thankful I'm getting some of these dreadful required classes out of the way.

   One of my classes that I'm taking is an 'Introduction to Psychology' class. Going into it, I was actually kind of excited because I like to analyze people. I am the type of person who is a definite observer and notice little things a lot of other people don't. Anyways, I was totally wrong about how this class was going to go. My first suggestion to anyone reading this is, don't set expectations on a class because you are likely to be really disappointed. Just kidding! Be excited!

   My class is fairly small, only about 10 students, but our professor is not so professor like. I mean to give you a better picture, just image Santa Clause trying to teach you a Psyc class.. oh and take it seriously, too.

   Everyday is an adventure and on one particular day the subject of the day was talking about ghosts, demons, and other stuff related among that. Of course being how it had to be, my professor decided to pick on me and get my opinion that day. So he asked, so I gave it. His response was strange declaring it's best to not believe in anything. And so, by the end of the class period his conclusion to believe in nothing, resulted in thinking that trapping me in a haunted house seemed best. Yes, that's correct. I said I didn't believe in ghosts, so the whole class made fun of me and thought it would be best to trap me in a haunted house so that I would conform. You should have seen my eye roll.

   The point here isn't that I was made fun of or any of that, it's simply this. You have to know where you stand and you have to do nothing but stand. You can't play the "I don't know" game and just think that's okay. All your life people will give you their opinions and what THEY think is best, but it's honestly not their opinions that count, or even matter. It's Gods. If you don't consider God's law first and where he stands and what HE says is right, then nothing matters.

   I have a lot of people that don't care for me, I don't have friends that I go and hang out with on the weekends, I offend people because I do what God tells me to do instead of what they tell me to do, and quite frankly I'm okay with it. I'm okay with it because I know that when I please God I am doing the right thing. I will not settle to please you, or any professor just because then that way it won't be difficult. I am only 16, and I have had to deal with a lot more than I should at my age. People always tell me that I'm just a kid and to go and have fun and not worry about the rest. Now while that sounds nice and it's true I'm young, but that just simply isn't how it works. Why? Because my generation is a generation that is going down the sewer system fast and someone has to do something. Someone has to care, and someone has to grow up and be real. So when a professor or someone I know gets mad at me because I am choosing to do what God tells me to do, good. My opinion is God's opinion and if you have an issue with it, deal with it.
 
   I used to really struggle with what people thought about me. Growing up where I have and with the kids I have, hasn't been easy, because I haven't done things like them. There is a label that gets put on people who don't conform or do something how the status-quo says to do it. It's hard to trust God sometimes doing something everyone says is wrong. It makes you question what you're doing, it makes you want to stop how God said to do it and do it their way so that the gossip going around will stop. It's painful and it's testing. But let me tell you something, when you can't understand and see the whole picture, God can, and you just need to hold on and trust. When God speaks, don't doubt.

   God showed me something one day while I was riding along in the car. I was dealing with some stuff and feeling really down and questioning God about things I knew he told me but was doubting because people were giving me hardship about it. We were on the Interstate and there was cars zooming all around us. While I was looking ahead in front of us, alongside at the same time, two huge semi's cornered us in. My instant reaction was fear filling me inside because I felt like we were being pulled backwards and crushed by these two large trucks that were triple the size of us. As I started to focus on the feeling of fear, all of the sudden it was like reality was quiet for a second and God refocused my focus and vision to straight in front of us. In that second I couldn't see the trucks that were trying to pull me down and destroy me, the things that were causing me doubt were gone and all I could see was the clear path ahead. God showed me two things that day. He showed me that the doubt was not from him because my God is not a God of doubt or confusion, what he says is true. When those huge trucks were passing by they symbolized the people that were giving me trouble and that even though it seems like they are winning and destroying me, creating doubt, that I was not to focus on that but focus on the path ahead of me that He has laid out before me. The other thing he showed me using those semi's was that he is surrounding me like he says in his word, he is covering me with his wings of refuge and in his hands I am held. NO harm is allowed to befall on my dwelling. He not only revealed something significant to me in that moment but corrected me for doubting him. I was instructed by him and his word to stand tall on the promises of his written and spoken word.

   Knowing where you stand and being confident in God is important. Walking blindly will destroy you. People will eat you alive if you don't know where you stand on the word of God. When He instructs you, listen and don't doubt. If you live for the approval and acceptance of man, trying to please everyone, then you will be destroyed and die from their rejection. You're either standing firm on God's word or you're not. People won't approve and they won't understand you're walk and journey with God, and that is okay. It's okay because it's always better for God to be pleased then for men to applaud you. I strive to hear, "Well done my good and faithful servant," from my God rather than from any man.

   SO, Mr. Psychology teacher, go ahead and trap me in a haunted house, but just know that when you come to let me out you will fall to your knees in repentance because the King of Kings will be standing by my side.

 

As Always,

XoXo. Elizabeth

 


 

Good Enough for Who?

     You know when God is pressing something on you to write but you just don't know what it is? Well, that has been my case for the past few months. You know it is there, but can't put into words what it is. Yea, defiantly me. It can be frustrating.

These past few months have been nothing but busy. I have wanted to sit down and write something that isn't required of me, you know like something I enjoy unlike another essay or something. Trying to find the time has just almost seemed impossible and then when I do have time to sit down and write, I just stare at the screen not being able to comprehend what God's trying to work through me.

WELL, let me tell you. I finally got it. In the most unexpected time, probably because I wasn't searching for it so hard trying to come up with it. And now that he did, it makes so much sense, because it's really what has been rolling around in me and what God has allowed my eyes to observe. I just haven't realized it.

I was watching a movie and there was particular part of a dialogue that just struck me, I was captivated in an inexpiable way. It went a little something like this:

    "No matter how hard you try, you've convinced yourself that you are not good enough. But good enough for who? Who are you not good enough for? It's YOU. You have convinced yourself that YOU aren't good enough for YOU..."

I mean lets be honest with ourselves, how often do you walk by the mirror each day or maybe look at your kids and tell yourselves repeatedly that YOU aren't good enough? Moms, how many times do you look at another and think how they must have it all together because her kids aren't fighting and screaming and she doesn't look like she just lost world war 3? Or dads, how many times do you look at another father and beat yourself because you're convinced he's a better provider than you? Or teenagers, especially the girls my age, how many times do you look at someone else and do nothing but compare yourselves? You convince yourself you're ugly and fat because that girl is skinnier and prettier.

It is a continuous cycle that leaves us all in despair. We end up farther back than when we started and our reality can never meet our expectations. We fall away from who God created us to be because we start to do nothing but try and accomplish God's purpose for some other person rather than ourselves. You can't fulfill the role of an eye surgeon if you're a teacher, it just doesn't work that way. Someone who would try and do that we would all look at them as if they were insane, but in a different sense, that is what we do. We try to be everyone but ourselves.

Everyone has failures, everyone screws up and makes mistakes, and the truth is that you will have failure moments and you WILL mess up, but it's your choice to be happy and to continue on despite of it. It's your choice to look up and give praise to the one who paid your debt and raised your life from the dead. It's not by your doing that you can continue on and it's not by your doing that you can keep going each day, but it is by the grace of God. It's by his grace that you can keep going each day and not make the same mistakes, it's by his grace that you are made new to never make that mistake again.

It's hard to be vulnerable, it's hard to not put up a front that you have it all together. It's hard to be honest with yourself and how you come off to others. But something I have learned is that my scars tell a story, and it is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to hide and denying the truth only hurts you worse. Those scars are a reminder to me of times when life tried to break me, but failed. They are markings of where the structure of my character was being welded.

I look at the way God created a bird to care for it's baby and how that momma bird does nothing but go to every extreme to just care for that baby and do it's job the way it was created to. It compares itself to no other bird, it doesn't try to be better or be the best, it just does it's job and is content with it. It's a beautiful thing to watch it just do what is it, and that's enough. We all spend so much time beating ourselves up trying to be anything and everything that we aren't to try and find acceptance when we all ready have got it. God's word says he doesn't make mistakes, so why do we look in the mirror daily and tell him that making us was a mistake? Why do we tell him that the job he has given us was a mistake because we think we can't do it?

The truth is: We are all a bunch of different looking sinners in need of the same looking cross. We are unique individuals created by God himself in need of the same grace to be who he has individually made us to be. In order to fulfill his purpose for your life you have got to stop living for other people and yourself and start living for God only. It's only by him that our imperfections are made perfect. We are a beautiful, chaotic mess. I'm not you, and you aren't me, but you are his masterpiece, and that is enough.

It is only in God that we discover our origin, our identity, our meaning, our purpose, our significance, and our destiny. It's only in him that we will ever be enough.

I'm a failure but,
He's my forgiver.
I'm a sinner,
But he is my savior.
I'm broken but,
He's my healer.
I'm his child,
And He is my God.

I am enough. YOU are enough.

As Always,
  XoXo. Elizabeth.
     

   
 

Summer Seasons.

   Summer in my life has officially came to an end, and to be honest I am really okay with that. I have come to the conclusion that you either have a great summer or a summer that is really not all that fantastic, and this year mine was one of those "not so fantastic" summers.

I really didn't do much, I didn't hang out with alot of people, I didn't do what people call "normal" for teenagers to do in the summer.Were there fun moments, well of course, but was in the best summer of my life, no.

It might even sound silly, but as I am looking back on it I have come to a place where I am actually thankful for it. I am thankful that my summer wasn't big and grand, I am thankful that I had to go through some stuff, and I am thankful for what I have overcome this summer and what I've learned.

It was rough, it was hard. I often felt very alone and that I had no one and nothing to do, but it was okay and it was necessary because I learned new things and walked with God to higher places. I have learned how I will never treat someone, I have learned how to be content in every season, I have learned how to be joyful despite how I feel at the moment. I have learned that its okay to go through things and it's okay to be okay. This summer I have overcome, I have let God mold my heart to how he wants it. Allowing him to do that, allowing him to root out things, readjust, sometimes it can hurt, but there is no greater reward then knowing that God is having his way in YOU.

I am not perfect, by any means. I have a long way to go, I have more areas to mature and grow in, but why I am thankful for this summer is because at the end of each day God showed me he was there. He showed me so many things and I don't deserve to see them, I don't deserve to see his beauty, yet he opens my eyes to see it.

Its amazing how when you open yourself up to Him to show you things and speak to you, he really does. So many of us go each day and don't even notice the beauty of a sunset, because we are to distracted with meaningless things. God is in that sunset, he MADE that sunset, his beauty is worth more then rubies or diamonds. I used to never think much of something like a sunset, but through this summer God has showed me and reminded me through a sunset that at the end of each day, NO matter what, he still remains the same, and he IS faithful.

This summer God gave me a new thankfulness and new appreciation for the people who surround me and uplift me. I may not have alot of people in my life but I have who God gave me and I am thankful, I am blessed. He has opened my eyes to see his love through these people, he has given and provided for me through these people in amounts and measures of love that my brain can't even handle. All I know is my heart wants to explode because is all I can feel is God's love and joy bubble up.

My 16yr old advice I have to give at the end of this blog is simply this:
- When you have a relationship with Christ, a real relationship with him, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. It just isn't. You go through seasons, you fight battles, you get a little dirty, but one thing I can stand and shout from the rooftops because I know its true is this, he IS FAITHFUL and he WILL bring you through. The victory has already been won, its already yours, now fight for it. Seasons come and go, and things shift. Don't loose your joy and never forget who your fighting for and that it is worth it, because he fought for you, he DIED for you, and he didn't even have too.

My heart is FULL.
I am THANKFUL.
I am BLESSED.

     As always, XoXo.
        -Elizabeth.

61 Years.

Their journey started 61 years ago today on a Saturday morning in a little church. Bright and early they were up, had a ceremony and a brunch after at the wedding in a little home. Simple and easy. Not overdone, no extra things, just straight to the point because the ceremony and the decor didn't determine their love or how long they would be together. Their story and their love was founded upon God, and quitting wasn't an option. When the going got tough, the tough got going and staying married was the only option.

Exactly 9 months later they had their first baby. And in the next 15 years had 10 more. Eleven kids in fifteen years and to this day she swears she never had two in diapers at the same time. Raised them all on the family farm, and poured their hearts into it. Everything was done by hand, meals made from scratch, hanging laundry on the line. You had to wind up that phone to call someone, it wasn't just done by the click of a button. The windows were rolled down by a crank, and the pictures were nothing but black and white.
Things were hard, you had to work hard. Things weren't just handed to you and the time you put in is what you got back.

They followed the word of God and the fruit of their labor has brought nothing but blessing and an overabundance of joy. 37 grandchildren and 9 great grandchildren to be exact. They bring joy everywhere they go and set an example day to day to not only me, but to everyone who knows them.

I have never once in all my 16 years have ever seen a shortage of goodies. Cookies, ice cream, malts, pies, cakes, ice cream desserts, and any other type of  baked good you bet it is there. The motherly example she has set is mind blowing, she inspires me. She didn't teach how to be rich. She taught how to be happy so that her offspring would know the value of things, not the price. Her heart is giving and kind. She leaves no one behind. She is the ultimate supporter, she will always be your biggest fan. The bed is always made, laundry is put away, and the house is clean. She puts her body to work, she is diligent and strong. She rises early in the morning and puts her shoes on and takes on the day, you would never know she is 82.

His hands are beaten and rough, they've put in more than their time. Served in the military and has seen pain, destruction, and brokenness. He provided for a family of 12 and settled for nothing less. He put in hard work and was a loving father. He is quiet but never outspoken. His words are full of knowledge and wisdom. When he speaks you listen. His heart is dedicated, his heart is tender. Family, card clubs, and golf are just a few of his favorites. He still goes out to the farm everyday, you would never know he is 86.

Just like all marriages have their ups and downs, the difference was they woke up every morning and despite what was happening around them they still fell in love again. As I get older and I start to walk my journey I look to you, I admire you, and I respect you. How blessed am I to be able to say I have someone as special as you to look too. Thank you for pushing through, thank you for never quitting and thank you for setting an example for me that I can follow. I am inspired and I am honored to say I am your granddaughter.

Gram and Gramps, my hat is off to you, because not many people can say this but, happy 61st Anniversary.

 

As always, Xoxo.

Elizabeth.

Little beauty. Little inspiration.

 

"She's a dreamer and a doer..

 

.. A thinker and one who see's possibility everywhere.. 

 

...She finds her beauty from within...

 

...So as she pulled back her hair, she set her sights on God, and vowed to finish her race in victory.." 

My little bug you inspire me. 

As always, Xoxo.

Elizabeth.

Snow and Snowman's.

Usually as an Iowan it's normal to expect cold winters and the occasional drastic temperature changes during those winter days. Notice I said, "occasional".. Yeah, well not this year. "Occasional" temperature changes isn't the word for it, I would say not even close. Here in Iowa, this 2013-2014 winter has been anything but a breeze. No exaggeration. One day it is snowing and the next it is a high of 77 and sunny. One day I am layered in clothing trying to do anything and everything to not let the cold touch my skin and the next I am out in shorts and a tank getting turned a nice golden-brown with a tint of sunburn. Talk about your wardrobe being extremely confused. No trying to plan ahead here!

I do admit though, the snow made my fence look pretty.. so of course the natural response to that was to take a completely necessary picture.

Snow can be a lot of fun too I guess, I mean hey, "Do YOU wanna build a snowman?.."

 

( Notice her eyes closed. This is her new way of thinking picture taking is done. And I guess the sun might have played a role as well =] ) 

 

I'd have to say that you are never to old to get out and play in the snow. Nerveless build a snowman. Always have dreams and always set goals but never forget that during the midst of all the chaos and crazy that there is this thing called life that your living and it's okay to sometimes just sit back and enjoy. Because at the end of the day, at the end of your life, you won't remember the chaos and mess, you'll remember all the time you threw away from being caught up in the nonsense that doesn't really matter. It's okay to live life, it's okay to enjoy. I think about my little sister. She is 4 and I'm 16. I'm gone in 2 years and I often wonder if she will remember me being here, growing up with me around. To me each moment I have left with her matters.. it counts. Make every moment you have with the ones you love count. Because once it's gone, it's gone. 

B&W "Wordless" Stories

I've always had this soft spot for black and white pictures. Maybe because I think that's the type of person I can be. Honest and opinionated. You're either in or out but no between..hmm. Or maybe not. Maybe I just have a passion for them. I don't know, it really probably doesn't matter.

I think they tell a story, they can describe words without having to say them. I guess they just tug at my heart. And yea, I know, none of these really go together in one "category", but i'm still sharing some of my most recent precious moments that I've captured and to me, they tell a story. :)

                         ( sweet mommy snuggles.. ) 

                         

                                   ( A boy and his dog )

( baby snuggles )

.."He trains my hands for battle; he strengthens my arm to draw a bronze bow".. -Ps.18:34 

( little piggies ) 

As always.. Xoxo. 

-Elizabeth

Reflection of Love..

     God’s love. 

I'm reminded of a personal story and i'm going to share it today. Just like i wrote up there in big bold letters.. God's Love. It’s something everyone thinks about at least once. We sing songs about God’s love all the time, we tell him how thankful we are that he loves us, but some people only go as far as that. They don’t pursue his love and they never really believe he loves them on a personal level, to them it’s no more than a song in that very moment. It wasn’t till one of this past summer’s outreaches that I participated in till I truly got the realization of how God really does love me. It became real, not just a song that I sang on Sunday mornings.

It was a Saturday afternoon, an unusual time for us to do an outreach, but the need was there and so we met it. We packed things up, hopped on the bus and off we went. Because it was Saturday, a lot of the people who regularly helped and attended these outreaches were working or had other prior commitments and that left us with very few to do the outreach. In my head, even though I had nothing to do that Saturday, I didn’t want to spend my day doing an outreach, but I went anyway. My attitude already going into it was crappy, and that was the wrong attitude to have. My motive was off, because at the time my focus of “God loves me” was all about me. Well..WRONG. 

We pulled up to where we were doing the outreach and started to set up. On this particular day it was hot, humid, and windy. The sky looked overcast. We all got our little assignments from our leader as what we were to do, and I was to work the face painting station. 

“Really”… is what I thought, “I can’t paint or draw anything to save my life!” 

Out of all the things, why was I placed to do that? Once again my focus was still on me, but God wasn’t finished with me yet. He’s just funny like that. So as I started to set up the paints, water, and everything else needed, the kids started coming. One by one they would come stand in line, their faces lighting up to know someone would want to draw a little heart or sword on their face. To them it meant the world, to me it seemed little and petty. No big deal, I wasn’t a great drawer or painter, so why’d it matter anyways? But it did. As each child approached my part of the station my heart started to soften, but it wasn’t then I realized He was softening me.

Time had passed and most of the kids had already gotten their face painted so they were checking everything else out. As I sat and watched the pure joy right before me, my focus slowly started shifting and everything else I had been thinking earlier in the day slowly slipped out of sight. As I was watching things unfold in front of me someone came to me and asked if they could paint a heart on my face, I of course said sure, not thinking anything too big of it. Right as they finished, it began to rain… And not just rain, but pour. Of course right, why wouldn’t it just down pour right then and there?

 I was reminded- “For you brethren, have been called to freedom; only do not use freedom as an opportunity for the flesh but through LOVE to SERVE ONE ANOTHER.” –Galatians 5:13                                                                                                                                                  

It wasn’t about me. And little did I know that the storm that came and soaked us all was a big part of the story God was trying to show me. As it was raining God was painting a picture of his love towards me and what it really means. His love is so big, like an ocean, but He didn’t die on the cross and pour out his love for only me. He loves me so much that he gave me the ability to love and serve others like He did. He’s given me the ability to love others unconditionally. God’s kingdom isn’t a picture of me or you, it’s a picture of him. We all seem to have these, ME attitudes. How it’s all about me, and I was guilty of that. Serving others and consistently putting everyone before himself was what Jesus did. His love for the people who were completely undeserving was unconditional, and that’s how we are to be. My focus, my perspective on God’s love, and my attitude changed that day. It’s not about me, it’s about others. It’s about loving them the way Jesus did.

That rainstorm also showed me one other thing about His love. After already feeling completely grateful and overwhelmed with what God had showed me, through all the chaos and mess, the down pouring rain that soaked me completely, I went home and looked in the mirror. When I looked in that mirror, there’s only one thing I saw, that little heart that was painted on my face. UNTOUCHED. Not even smeared. Still there whole and perfect. And that is what it was all about. God showed me that He loved me so much, He cared enough to correct me when I was wrong. His love is unfathomable. He showed me that no matter what storm you face, no matter where you’ve been or came from, there is nothing that can take his love for you away. He is there through it all, He doesn’t change, He doesn’t move. He is unfailing. 

Who would have thought that me working a face painting booth would have given me the realization of God’s love, but it did. Somehow that little heart made it through all the storms and disaster, but it’s just like Gods love, it never runs out. That outreach is a day I will never forget, and I am forever thankful. Thank you Jesus. You overwhelm me.

 “Your love never fails, it never GIVES UP, it NEVER runs out on me…”

  

  

Thankful Thursday.

   

   "The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows his handywork." -Ps. 19:1

   Thank you Jesus for reminding me daily of your astounding beauty. Holy, holy, are you God.

The heavens DECLARE your beauty, they tell your story, they remind me of who you are! Nothing to big, nothing to small, you Jesus are creator of all.

"The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows his handywork. Day after day they continue speak; night after night they make him known. They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard. Yet their message has gone throughout all the earth, and their words to all the world. God has made a home in the heavens for the sun. It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroom after his wedding. It rejoices like a great athlete eager to run the race. The sun rises At one end of the heavens and follows it's course to the other end. Nothing can hide from its heat." -Ps.1:1-6
 Oh God, you amaze me. I stand in awe tonight. All glory to you. How beautiful are you! How majestic is your name in all the earth!

                   

   Oh thank you Jesus for setting me free.
   For choosing me.
   For appointing me.
   For setting me where I am.
   For reminding me of who you are.
   For sharing your beautiful creation with me.
   For showing me how good you are.
   For restoring me.
   For reminding me who you made me to be.
   For putting joy into my life.
   For putting a smile back on my face.
 
    Oh father let my life be a blessing unto you.  Let your way be done in me. Jesus, I live for YOU!

- XOXO. Elizabeth.

Happy Birthday my Little Bug.

   I really should get better at this blogging thing. Maybe make it a priority? But then again, to me, that's just not reality. As I meant and had in my mind to post this already Monday, (and it's now Friday) procrastination got the best of me, again.
SO...

To my one and only, and forever little sister, watching you turn four was nothing but pure joy. Being able to watch you go from being wrapped up in a little hospital blanket and seeing those little hats sag on you head...

 

 
         ... To then watching you start to discover the world around you

You stole my heart from the beginning little bug. You stole everyone around you with them bold blue eyes. Always filled with such wonder and amazement. The simplest things would take you in and make you

content. So curious. Such a dreamer.  

With you around, there is never a dull moment. Your sass takes us all to a whole new level. You are a source of joy in our everyday lives, and to me you will always be a sign of faithfulness from God. Always

believe in God's word to you baby, he will never fail you. You are a fulfilled promise. 

 I never realized how fast time really does fly, or how much you can grow up in just one short period of time. I remember all of the good days of you being a baby, but I also remember the bad. I remember those nights when you would be at the hospital not being able to breathe, I remember being scared, but I also remember you being a fighter. You may have only been one or so, but you still encouraged me. I remember you taking your first steps.. I mean it only took you till 16 months, but hey, who says you have to follow the book and be like everyone else walking at 11 mo. That is what made you, you. For you my bug, are you and only you. Unique and perfect, the exact way God intended.

   As you would tell me.. " Sis, I just love you all the up to the moon"...

I often wonder if you will ever remember me living here at home with you. In just a few years I'll be up and   out of here, but baby one thing never changes. Forever you will be my little sis.

 So as I reflect upon all the memories that have led up to making you four, I start to realize you aren't so little anymore, you aren't a baby. As you would say, you are very big, big, big, BIG girl. And as you just continue to get bigger, grow up, and continue your journey, you can always count on me.

So my little bug, there's only one thing left to say. Happy birthday my very big girl.


   Much love,
Elizabeth. XOXOXO.
 
 

 As I sit here and ponder all the things on my heart today I feel like there is so much I could write about. But there is just that one thing in particular that never seems to escape me. Friendship.
To me it's a subject most of the time I try to stay away from, only because bringing it up brings up reminders of the pain it's caused me. It's a subject that has brought many tears, that has broke my heart over and over again, but it's also a subject that talking about has brought healing.

Ever since the day I was born into this world, somehow I've just always been the one to stick out. Growing up I never learned new things or did the right steps like the other kids did at the right time, I was always ahead or behind them, but never with them. I was always the unique one you could point out from the crowd, the one with maybe the loud mouth and a strong will. And trying to just "fit in" and "make friends" was never my thing. The more I would try to fit in, the more I would just stick out. The more I tried to be friends with someone, the more they wouldn't stick around. I've had countless friendships that have ended in tears and misunderstanding, so much trust that was misplaced, and the more I try to fix them, the worse it got. I've been the girl who's had gossip and lies spread about her all over. And when your only 12 and things like that are happening, it's difficult to not take personally. You know that crowd over there, the circle of friends all chatting and laughing and looking like they are having a great time? And then in the midst of that "group" do you see the one that's sorta in the group but standing mostly on the outside trying to be apart but just not fitting in?.. well there ya have it. I watch this over and over and I see the disappointment on the faces of the teens and young ones just trying to fit in to have a friend. And when i see it, it breaks me, because I've been there, I've been that person.

I never share things like this, but I feel like God's telling me it's time. The battles you face and go through aren't pointless. There's a reason and if you let God take control, he will use them for His glory in the end. He will bring you into His victory.

 Friendship is a tricky thing. It's complicated, it's messy, and it requires trust, but when you become friends with the RIGHT people at the RIGHT time, it can be the biggest blessing. In fact, friendships are supposed to be a Godly thing, they are supposed to be full of Him. Having friends isn't bad and having friends shouldn't be a dreadful thing, that's not how God made it. A friendship will always have it's ups and downs but a Godly friendship will always prevail. The saying, "You are who you hang around with.." is so very true. In the culture and society that we live in today having a "BFF" or a "group" of friends is looked at as a necessity. And if you don't have one or aren't apart of some group or don't like what everyone else does then you are looked down upon as a reject, and sadly the people who seem to "have it all" make sure to make you feel like that. They make it known. Its better to be yourself and have no friends then be just like your friends and have no self.

Growing up in a twisted culture that tells you that if you don't have at least more then 10 friends that you are then a no one, is not ok, and it's not right! Since when did Jesus ever say as long as you have 10 friends that that's the only way I will love you or accept you? JESUS is to be your best friend, and when he is your best friend, then Godly friendships will follow.
Being young and going against the "normal" of this world, isn't easy, and for me to think all this time that me not fitting in and having countless friendships lost was a bad thing is not all bad! Because in the end, it's brought me closer to Jesus, it has given me the chance to make him MY best friend.
 
I often look back on my life at all the Friday night's spent home, and hearing about all the fun things people would go and do but never being invited myself, I look back on all the nights where I wold be in the midst of a crowd of  "friends" and just feeling so alone, like I would never have a friend that is actually a friend.. I look back on the nights where I was convinced that there was no one that could "handle" me and my opinions and honesty but when I look back at those nights, those are the nights where I found Jesus with me the most. Those are the nights where he would speak to me about my purpose that being with friends or being in a certain group of people isn't what defined me. Being honest won't get you a lot of friends but it will get you the right ones. Don't EVER compromise whats right just to keep a friend, because you doing that is hurting them, you speaking up is saving them.
 
 I look back on the friendships that I wish wouldn't have ended how they did. I often think if I could only just go back in time and fix them and make it better and not said what I said, that it would all be fine. But I always remember one thing, God didn't call me to just sit back and not speak up, but to do what was RIGHT, and not what was easy. God didn't call YOU to sit back and let your friends smoke pot right in front of you and YOU not say anything! He didn't make you to FIT IN with the crowd and be like them. He made you to be salt and light to a world that only knows darkness! He made you to glorify Him with your life, your words, your actions, your heart, AND your friendships. That means who you hang around. And if you are the one like me who is sitting all alone while the rest of the kids your age are together because YOU are choosing to do what's right.. EMBRACE IT. Because you my friend are pleasing unto God.

I always thought me not fitting in was a horrible thing. I thought not having friends was the end of the world. But the older I've become the more I've realized that having friends isn't what it's all about. MY life is to glorify God, not to have friends that make me popular. Being a teenager shouldn't be a contest between who can have the most friends, and the fact that the world, media, and movies have made the teenage life look like all it is about is relationships and having all these friends to be someone important is a shame, it should be about giving your everything to God and loving your family, it should be about desiring to please God Almighty. He know's your needs and your desires and he says to never be worried because He will provide for your EVERY need, right on time. But YOU have to trust Him with your whole being.

When you give your life to God, when you give him everything you have and lay it down before Him and follow Him, He will put in your life the right people at the exact right time, he will bring you an unending friendship with Him, and will put someone in your life to call your friend. He will restore and mend those broken friendships that were lost over misunderstanding, because He makes ALL things new! He is my restorer! He is my friend!

So to all you out there feeling alone, to all you who have been where I have been, I have good news!
You aren't alone, and Jesus is waiting for you! In time, God is bringing you your friend. To be nobody but who God made you to be in Him in a world that's trying everything it can to make you someone your not is one of the hardest battles you will ever fight. Never stop fighting. Never stop trusting.

Someday you will have that friend where if you declare the floor to be lava they will actually pretend it is.. and that's pretty cool, because some people don't, even though you just said it is.
Keep being patient my friend, it's not all for nothing! Open your heart up and let God write His story in you. :)

   "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.." -Proverbs 18:24

Much love,
xoxo. Elizabeth.



 

 

Simple moments, simple thoughts, simple pictures.

                                             Dramatic faces..

Ordinary days...

                                             
                 Those sweet moments that seem gone to fast...

         And to those darn days when there just isn't a song in your heart...

                                                            ...SING ANYWAYS! 

   As always, much love..
      xoxoxoxo. Elizabeth

A focused vision.

   “Because living for other people means you’re living a lie…”

This is something that’s been on my heart the past couple months but it didn't really hit home until I heard that line in a song the other day and it got me thinking how there is so much truth in one little sentence. I mean think about it, how many times do YOU do things JUST for the approval of other people? We do it all the time. The truth is that you are better than no one, so why does there seem to be such a need to get that applaud on the back from what other people think? There’s a fine line between wanting to make someone proud and please them, and then making that need to please and get approval from other people your idol.

The song then continues to say….

       “Life is a cage, a prison of everyone’s approval….

        We fight for acceptance and struggle to not lose it….

        But livin for their acceptance has got us stressin, the insecure ones are obsessed with leaving good impressions….”

   It shouldn't be like that, that’s not how God created us to be. Your goal shouldn't be to make a good impression on other people, it shouldn't be to get a pat on the back so everyone thinks you’re a good person. Your goal should be to please God, to get His attention, to stay humble, and get a well done from Him. Your relationship with God should be between you and God, it shouldn't be something to proudly show off to other people so they will put a nice label on you and set you high in their minds.

   I've noticed that people have become so obsessed with how they are accepted by other people that they go to the point of letting God down and turning their backs on Him. They start to just put on a show and let themselves slip into religious obedient actions so they keep getting the applaud of men. They start to live for the acceptance and approval of men and then die from their rejection.

When your eyes are no longer on God you have now placed them on man, and you have created that to be your god because that is who you strive to live for, that’s who you’re craving to please.  You've set the acceptance of men on high and downgraded God, you’ve told him that he’s no longer good enough. When you fall into this, you’re no longer serving God, you are serving the satisfaction of yourself and the people around you. 

   Galatians 1:10 says, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

   And Isaiah 2:22 says also, “Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils. Of what account is he?”

   Chaos and stress comes from always trying to make sure everyone around approves or is satisfied, but when you look to God, everything people are throwing out there at you sorta just falls by the way side because God is who your eyes are fixed on. There comes a peace when you just trust Him. Make your heart’s desire to please God, because in the end, that’s all that matters. Sometimes the people around you won't understand your journey with God, and that's OK, because it's not for them. It's better for God to approve then for the world to applaud. 

   Well, on that note.. :)

   Much love,

    xoxoxoxo. Elizabeth.

   

New year, new time, new things.

   As I have sat and debated this whole blog thing now for quite sometime I decided I would just go for it. I mean, it is a new year right, time to try new things. I'm not very good with change, not at all, but I've decided this change is one for the better. 

   I'm Elizabeth, and yes, this is my first blog post.. EVER. I feel almost as if this blog thing is more for adults, but who says a high school student can't participate too, right? Anyways, i'm your classic Midwest girl who's enjoying life and trying to find her way through. I like to be real, and i'm very honest. I believe in the one and only, true, and living God. He has saved and delivered me. He has put breath in my lungs, and with my words I will glorify him. My story is just beginning and I hope you choose to follow alongside me as I travel this journey. 

   Much love always,

    xoxoxoxo. Elizabeth.